Breaking the Cycle
In my 20’s and early 30’s, I held swift, hard judgment for people who had hurt me in my childhood and young adult life. By the time I entered my mid 30’s, I began to see more clearly my own failures. For a long time, I blamed others for my mistakes, but I came to understand that I was the one making the decisions in my life, and ultimately, as Grandma Hodge always said,“Every tub sits on its own bottom.”I would mentally assent to forgiving those who had hurt me, but deep
inside, I had them on a “do not call” list. In other words, “I forgive you but don’t ever speak to me again.” I realize that, for the sake of safety, there are some people who should not have access to our lives, but my resentment went much further than that.
Finally, after sickness, loss, emotional turmoil, panic attacks, and deep depression, I came face to face with the Holy Spirit of God, and a revelation of this passage of scripture:
Matthew
6:14-15 Amplified
Bible (AMP)
14 “For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.”
It was then I decided that, if I had to pry it off with a crowbar, I must truly, from my heart, forgive those who had hurt me, with a careful eye on the pain that I had caused other people.
That was when my life began to change. The deep depression and panic attacks are long gone. The sickness has lost its hold on me. The emotional turmoil does not grip me as it once did. I look to the future, and not to the past, to guide my steps. I have compassion for those who did me great harm, knowing that in my own way I have caused great pain to others.
We can only hope to do this with the help of God, allowing His precious Holy Spirit to guide us. Jesus endured the ultimate pain and punishment for crimes that we committed. He did this with great joy, knowing he would save us from eternity in hell. If He can get on the cross for me, then surely I can, from my heart, forgive you.
Matthew
18:29-35 Amplified
Bible (AMP)
29 ”So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!
30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told
everything that had taken place to their master.
32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and
cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and
mercy on you?
34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.
35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart
his offenses.”
Blessings,
Pastor Anita M. Ayers
inside, I had them on a “do not call” list. In other words, “I forgive you but don’t ever speak to me again.” I realize that, for the sake of safety, there are some people who should not have access to our lives, but my resentment went much further than that.
Finally, after sickness, loss, emotional turmoil, panic attacks, and deep depression, I came face to face with the Holy Spirit of God, and a revelation of this passage of scripture:
Matthew
6:14-15 Amplified
Bible (AMP)
14 “For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.”
It was then I decided that, if I had to pry it off with a crowbar, I must truly, from my heart, forgive those who had hurt me, with a careful eye on the pain that I had caused other people.
That was when my life began to change. The deep depression and panic attacks are long gone. The sickness has lost its hold on me. The emotional turmoil does not grip me as it once did. I look to the future, and not to the past, to guide my steps. I have compassion for those who did me great harm, knowing that in my own way I have caused great pain to others.
We can only hope to do this with the help of God, allowing His precious Holy Spirit to guide us. Jesus endured the ultimate pain and punishment for crimes that we committed. He did this with great joy, knowing he would save us from eternity in hell. If He can get on the cross for me, then surely I can, from my heart, forgive you.
Matthew
18:29-35 Amplified
Bible (AMP)
29 ”So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!
30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told
everything that had taken place to their master.
32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and
cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and
mercy on you?
34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.
35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart
his offenses.”
Blessings,
Pastor Anita M. Ayers
A Willing Heart
"No one can force a person towards permanent and creative learning. They will learn only if they will to. Any other type of learning is temporary and inconsistent with the self, and will disappear as soon as the threat is removed."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Matthew 13:13-14Amplified Bible (AMP)
13 This is the reason that I speak to them in parables: because having the power of seeing, they do not see; and having the power of hearing, they do not hear, nor do they grasp and understand.
14 In them indeed is the process of fulfillment of the prophecy of Isaiah, which says: You shall indeed hear and hear but never grasp and understand; and you shall indeed look and look but never see and perceive.
John 8:31-32Amplified Bible (AMP)
31 So Jesus said to those Jews who had believed in Him, If you abide in My word [hold fast to My teachings and live in accordance with them], you are truly My disciples.
32 And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.
At Anita Ayers Ministries we have often talked about, “A Willing Heart”. It is no wonder that Jesus said you must become as a little child in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children have hearts that are willing to learn and see things from a different perspective. They have not become jaded and entrenched in their thinking.
Yet, at the same time, there is ultimate truth concerning our current behavior and our eternal life. There are many voices in the world, the Bible tells us, and none of them are without significance. Within the technology-exploding, media-driven society that we travel today, different convictions and opinions are as accessible as the air we breathe.
As a young woman, I was focused on my needs and desires, and I had little concern for long-term consequences in my life, or the lives of those associated with me. It was only after reaching my 30’s that I began to see some of the long-term effects of my short-term decisions. It was deeply painful to see those consequences in the lives of people I loved, and was especially painful to know that some of it was a direct result of my wrong thinking and actions.
A post I found and shared on Facebook recently stated:
“We are all free to make choices in life, but none of us are free from the consequences of those choices.”
Like the devout Jewish man named Saul, I had a Damascus Road experience (Acts chapter 9) in life that brought me to a powerful conclusion: The Bible, interpreted through the revelation of The Holy Spirit, is the true word of God. In fact, the Bible is God speaking to me. Many things I thought the Bible said, it does not say, and vise-versa.
I made a decision to ask Jesus the Christ to be my Savior and then my Lord. I concluded that His word (The Bible) had the final say in my life because it is the ultimate truth that supersedes every lie. I decided that no matter how much I may want to change God’s word to make my life more convenient, it would be wrong.
I do not order my life according to popular opinions that shift with the sands of the incoming and outgoing tides. I order my life and base my eternal salvation on the unchanging word of God. This decision has forever changed my life and my thinking. This is the best decision I have ever made. I pray that all those who are willing to hear and know the truth will follow Jesus Christ.
Next week: my Damascus Road experience…
Blessings, Anita Ayers
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Matthew 13:13-14Amplified Bible (AMP)
13 This is the reason that I speak to them in parables: because having the power of seeing, they do not see; and having the power of hearing, they do not hear, nor do they grasp and understand.
14 In them indeed is the process of fulfillment of the prophecy of Isaiah, which says: You shall indeed hear and hear but never grasp and understand; and you shall indeed look and look but never see and perceive.
John 8:31-32Amplified Bible (AMP)
31 So Jesus said to those Jews who had believed in Him, If you abide in My word [hold fast to My teachings and live in accordance with them], you are truly My disciples.
32 And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.
At Anita Ayers Ministries we have often talked about, “A Willing Heart”. It is no wonder that Jesus said you must become as a little child in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children have hearts that are willing to learn and see things from a different perspective. They have not become jaded and entrenched in their thinking.
Yet, at the same time, there is ultimate truth concerning our current behavior and our eternal life. There are many voices in the world, the Bible tells us, and none of them are without significance. Within the technology-exploding, media-driven society that we travel today, different convictions and opinions are as accessible as the air we breathe.
As a young woman, I was focused on my needs and desires, and I had little concern for long-term consequences in my life, or the lives of those associated with me. It was only after reaching my 30’s that I began to see some of the long-term effects of my short-term decisions. It was deeply painful to see those consequences in the lives of people I loved, and was especially painful to know that some of it was a direct result of my wrong thinking and actions.
A post I found and shared on Facebook recently stated:
“We are all free to make choices in life, but none of us are free from the consequences of those choices.”
Like the devout Jewish man named Saul, I had a Damascus Road experience (Acts chapter 9) in life that brought me to a powerful conclusion: The Bible, interpreted through the revelation of The Holy Spirit, is the true word of God. In fact, the Bible is God speaking to me. Many things I thought the Bible said, it does not say, and vise-versa.
I made a decision to ask Jesus the Christ to be my Savior and then my Lord. I concluded that His word (The Bible) had the final say in my life because it is the ultimate truth that supersedes every lie. I decided that no matter how much I may want to change God’s word to make my life more convenient, it would be wrong.
I do not order my life according to popular opinions that shift with the sands of the incoming and outgoing tides. I order my life and base my eternal salvation on the unchanging word of God. This decision has forever changed my life and my thinking. This is the best decision I have ever made. I pray that all those who are willing to hear and know the truth will follow Jesus Christ.
Next week: my Damascus Road experience…
Blessings, Anita Ayers
DO I HAVE A DESTINY?
When I think about destiny, my first thoughts are of God. My own life has often seemed to parallel that of "Christian" in the story "Pilgrim’s Progress," by John Bunyan. Like Christian, I was compelled by God out of “The City of Destruction” toward the journey to “The Celestial City.” Like Christian, I have family and loved ones that I have pleaded with to join me on this amazing journey of destiny. It has been with great heartache that I've had to leave them in their fear and rebellion, and walk away from those I loved as they held fast to “The City of Destruction.” I had to continue my journey toward life everlasting
"Hopeful" joined me on my journey, helping me continue to believe that God would send "Evangelist" to reveal the truth of Jesus to those loved ones I had to leave behind. "Faithful" stayed with me when all others left me for dead. I faced what seemed like insurmountable challenges, and at different times I was held captive by “Giant Despair.” When I became weary of the journey, I found myself, more than once, stuck in “The slough of despair (sic).”
Again and again, God sent the beautiful maidens, "Prudence," "Piety," and "Charity," to comfort and assist me in this journey. When I desperately needed direction and hope, "The Shining Ones, came to guide me along the path.
When I first began my journey in 1983, The Celestial City seemed as if it were only a dream. As I walked closer to The Faithful One, I began to see The Celestial City more clearly. Time and again in my battles with "Apollyon," “The City” seemed to fade into the distance, but, in my heart, I held the memory of its indescribable beauty.
I believe every man woman and child ever born on this earth has a God-given destiny. Countless millions have allowed themselves to be traded out of their destiny, much like Esau, who traded “The Blessing” for a bowl of pottage. We are so often enticed by the bright lights of this world system; drawn like a moth into the flame of destruction, never to smell the sweet new mown hay of our promised land.
Some (like myself), awoke in the last throes of their downward spiral, and cried out to God for salvation, just moments before we might have been lost forever in the flames of torment. This is why I am fiercely loyal to Jesus, and I am determined to proclaim his love and mercy to all who will listen and reach out to His extended hand.
Even though I threw away years of the precious life Jesus gave to me, He has managed to restore many good years, and bless me beyond all that I could ask or think. I ran from God and the ministry that I knew He had called me to. He took me back with open arms and rerouted my destiny. Every giant I've faced in life and ministry has only strengthened my resolve and endurance to love and serve God to the best of my ability. Truly what Satan meant for my harm, God has used for my good.
We opened our church, “Anita Ayers Ministries,” in St. Petersburg, Florida, in August of 2009. Our greatest battle came less than two days later, when our nephew, Nick, took his own life while in a drug-induced delirium. To survive that was a major struggle, but his mother, Debbie, who is one of our founding members, did more than survive - she started a ministry outreach to troubled teens called “In the Nick of Time.”
My husband, Al, stepped up to feed the homeless and locate and deliver food to needy families in our area. Al has also started a fishing ministry called “Catching Hope out reach,” to take people fishing who normally could not afford to go.
We have been live-streaming our worship and our teaching services, free of charge, to all those needing a word of encouragement.
This last year, we opened “Fellowship Café,” in cooperation with Say Kim of SunCoast Haven of Rest. Every Wednesday evening, the café provides music, fellowship, free dinner to the neighborhood, and a food giveaway.
We've been privileged to pray for many people, and have seen many miracles. We've also been blessed to be a place of refuge to people struggling to recover from addictions and abuse.
Our mighty God has allowed our small church to help launch other ministries in this area, and to be a blessing to many families in our neighborhood. We've seen souls saved, marriages restored, addicts set free - all this by the Amazing Grace of our God. We are honored and privileged to be even a small part of what God is doing.
Financially, this year has been very challenging for Anita Ayers Ministries. Please pray as you consider your gift to this ministry, and ask the Lord to help you give your very best. We must reach out to meet the needs of many, families who are struggling to make ends meet., the Bible tells us those who give to the poor, lend unto the Lord.
You can give through our secure "Donations" page.
If you'd like further information about our ministry, please call my husband, Al, at: 727-417-2921.
We ask you to cover this ministry in your prayers in the coming months, and to consider becoming a monthly partner with us. Whatever you do, be sure that you find your God-given destiny and live it out to the fullest, so that when you cross over to “The Celestial City,” you can say like the apostle Paul:
2nd Timothy 4:5-7
5 As for you, be calm and cool and steady, accept and suffer unflinchingly every hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fully perform all the duties of your ministry.
6 For I am already about to be sacrificed [my life is about to be poured out as a drink offering]; the time of my [spirit’s] release [from the body] is at hand and I will soon go free.
7 I have fought the good (worthy, honorable, and noble) fight, I have finished the race, I have kept (firmly held) the faith.
8 [As to what remains] henceforth there is laid up for me the [victor’s] crown of righteousness [for being right with God and doing right], which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me and recompense me on that [great] day—and not to me only, but also to all those who have loved and yearned for and welcomed His appearing (His return).
Hugs & Blessings,
Pastor Anita Ayers
"Hopeful" joined me on my journey, helping me continue to believe that God would send "Evangelist" to reveal the truth of Jesus to those loved ones I had to leave behind. "Faithful" stayed with me when all others left me for dead. I faced what seemed like insurmountable challenges, and at different times I was held captive by “Giant Despair.” When I became weary of the journey, I found myself, more than once, stuck in “The slough of despair (sic).”
Again and again, God sent the beautiful maidens, "Prudence," "Piety," and "Charity," to comfort and assist me in this journey. When I desperately needed direction and hope, "The Shining Ones, came to guide me along the path.
When I first began my journey in 1983, The Celestial City seemed as if it were only a dream. As I walked closer to The Faithful One, I began to see The Celestial City more clearly. Time and again in my battles with "Apollyon," “The City” seemed to fade into the distance, but, in my heart, I held the memory of its indescribable beauty.
I believe every man woman and child ever born on this earth has a God-given destiny. Countless millions have allowed themselves to be traded out of their destiny, much like Esau, who traded “The Blessing” for a bowl of pottage. We are so often enticed by the bright lights of this world system; drawn like a moth into the flame of destruction, never to smell the sweet new mown hay of our promised land.
Some (like myself), awoke in the last throes of their downward spiral, and cried out to God for salvation, just moments before we might have been lost forever in the flames of torment. This is why I am fiercely loyal to Jesus, and I am determined to proclaim his love and mercy to all who will listen and reach out to His extended hand.
Even though I threw away years of the precious life Jesus gave to me, He has managed to restore many good years, and bless me beyond all that I could ask or think. I ran from God and the ministry that I knew He had called me to. He took me back with open arms and rerouted my destiny. Every giant I've faced in life and ministry has only strengthened my resolve and endurance to love and serve God to the best of my ability. Truly what Satan meant for my harm, God has used for my good.
We opened our church, “Anita Ayers Ministries,” in St. Petersburg, Florida, in August of 2009. Our greatest battle came less than two days later, when our nephew, Nick, took his own life while in a drug-induced delirium. To survive that was a major struggle, but his mother, Debbie, who is one of our founding members, did more than survive - she started a ministry outreach to troubled teens called “In the Nick of Time.”
My husband, Al, stepped up to feed the homeless and locate and deliver food to needy families in our area. Al has also started a fishing ministry called “Catching Hope out reach,” to take people fishing who normally could not afford to go.
We have been live-streaming our worship and our teaching services, free of charge, to all those needing a word of encouragement.
This last year, we opened “Fellowship Café,” in cooperation with Say Kim of SunCoast Haven of Rest. Every Wednesday evening, the café provides music, fellowship, free dinner to the neighborhood, and a food giveaway.
We've been privileged to pray for many people, and have seen many miracles. We've also been blessed to be a place of refuge to people struggling to recover from addictions and abuse.
Our mighty God has allowed our small church to help launch other ministries in this area, and to be a blessing to many families in our neighborhood. We've seen souls saved, marriages restored, addicts set free - all this by the Amazing Grace of our God. We are honored and privileged to be even a small part of what God is doing.
Financially, this year has been very challenging for Anita Ayers Ministries. Please pray as you consider your gift to this ministry, and ask the Lord to help you give your very best. We must reach out to meet the needs of many, families who are struggling to make ends meet., the Bible tells us those who give to the poor, lend unto the Lord.
You can give through our secure "Donations" page.
If you'd like further information about our ministry, please call my husband, Al, at: 727-417-2921.
We ask you to cover this ministry in your prayers in the coming months, and to consider becoming a monthly partner with us. Whatever you do, be sure that you find your God-given destiny and live it out to the fullest, so that when you cross over to “The Celestial City,” you can say like the apostle Paul:
2nd Timothy 4:5-7
5 As for you, be calm and cool and steady, accept and suffer unflinchingly every hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fully perform all the duties of your ministry.
6 For I am already about to be sacrificed [my life is about to be poured out as a drink offering]; the time of my [spirit’s] release [from the body] is at hand and I will soon go free.
7 I have fought the good (worthy, honorable, and noble) fight, I have finished the race, I have kept (firmly held) the faith.
8 [As to what remains] henceforth there is laid up for me the [victor’s] crown of righteousness [for being right with God and doing right], which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me and recompense me on that [great] day—and not to me only, but also to all those who have loved and yearned for and welcomed His appearing (His return).
Hugs & Blessings,
Pastor Anita Ayers
Renewing Your Mind
What we see, hear, think and say is the material our life is made of. If we allow ourselves to think against what God's word says then we will become what we think. Our thoughts are not some foregone conclusion they are something we choose moment by moment. If we are not reading God's word and asking Him to help us, we are easy pray for the lies of our enemy Satan.
Common lies from Satan:
If it feels good do it. I want what I want when I want it. The only thing that matters is my personal happiness. Self discipline is a drag.
Truth from Jesus:
John 10:10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
11 I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd risks and lays down His [own] life for the sheep.
I Corinthians 13:5 (Love) It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
I Corinthians 13:13 13 And so faith, hope, love abide [faith—conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.
In God's word, lead by the Holy Spirit of God is the only place we can find daily, lasting, eternal joy that no situation, momentary feeling or challenging circumstance can take away.
Common lies from Satan:
If it feels good do it. I want what I want when I want it. The only thing that matters is my personal happiness. Self discipline is a drag.
Truth from Jesus:
John 10:10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
11 I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd risks and lays down His [own] life for the sheep.
I Corinthians 13:5 (Love) It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
I Corinthians 13:13 13 And so faith, hope, love abide [faith—conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.
In God's word, lead by the Holy Spirit of God is the only place we can find daily, lasting, eternal joy that no situation, momentary feeling or challenging circumstance can take away.